Guest Post: Mental Focus
Lisette Nolan
The start of this new year of blogging has brought some terrific guest bloggers my way and due to the number of submissions, I have had to keep some in reserve and time their release. So when I was getting ready to publish today’s guest post, imagine my delight when reading over it, I saw so many of the themes I’ve been writing on over the past few days reflected here.
Today’s guest blogger Lisette echos so much of what I have writing about – how much our attitude to our pain can add or lessen our suffering and how much the kindness and caring of others can add to the healing process.
Mental Focus
While undergoing chemotherapy, another patient told me that her doctor advised her she would look back on her time with cancer and consider it one of the best years of her life.
A shocking concept you might think! However, her words stayed with me and I found myself constantly asking myself “What did she mean by this?” “In what way could this be one of the best years of my life?” “What’s good about it?” “What could I do to make it good?”
These words, casually spoken, gave me a totally different perspective on my journey with cancer and its treatment. I was enormously grateful for the relentless arrival of cards, flowers and well-wishers. Family, friends, work colleagues and even clients, had taken precious time out their own busy lives to let me know that they were thinking of me. To this day, the thought of their love and warmth fills me with a feeling of wellbeing. Don’t ever underestimate the joy of a small coloured envelope arriving through the letterbox and landing in the hall – what better way to start the day than to know that someone, somewhere is thinking of you and sending warm and sincere wishes your way.
For the first time since I had left school and started to work, I had time to myself; time to read, watch a movie, simply slow down and be with myself. I was home when my children returned from school and had more time with my family. There were no demands on me, no expectations, other than I rest. The support and care that I experienced were matched by the huge appreciation I had for it.
These are only a few of the huge number of things I was grateful for. I believe that I would have been grateful for this love and warmth anyway, however, the words spoken by that doctor prompted me to focus on these aspects and by doing so I gave as little attention as possible to the cancer itself.
Luckily, my cancer had been diagnosed early and the prognosis was good. My oncologist advised me to allow him to take care of the medical treatments and allow myself to concentrate on my recovery – and I took him literally! I trusted him and the treatment he subscribed for me, and I put all my attention and energy into being with my family, enjoying every moment with them, and maintaining a positive mental emotional state.
I didn’t enjoy being ill. I didn’t enjoy the disruption to my life. I didn’t enjoy the uncertainty and fear related to having cancer.
However, I did enjoy being the recipient of such love and care. I did enjoy the slower pace I choose to adopt. I did enjoy spending more time at home with my family. I did enjoy being a positive influence on others as they took my lead and focused on all the things we were grateful for.
We can’t always control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we respond. It may not have been the best year of my life, but by focusing on all the positive aspects, it was definitely a year filled with lots of happy experiences and new perspectives – a good year!
“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.” ~ Viktor Frankl
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About today’s guest blogger
Lisette Nolan is a life and business coach and together with her business partner Jan Harte is the author of the forthcoming book, Stress Less, which can be pre-ordered from their website http://lisandjan.com.
I really identified with your saying here Lis – that you relished the caring and love others showed you when you were ill. In fact I can remember really missing it when my treatment was over. Perhaps it is a reminder that we all need TLC from time to time even when we are not so obviously ill. As I said in my post yesterday, never underestimate the power of a kind word or gesture – you never know how much someone may be in need of it today.
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Lis I also agree. I had never experienced the simple pleasure of letting others take care of me until I too had cancer, and it was a wonderful gift. Like you Marie I missed it when it disappeared after my treatment was finished.
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Lovely post and it does tie in very nicely with what you have been writing Marie over the past few days.
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I love that you use a Viktor Frankl quote – his Man’s Search for Meaning was one of the most powerful books I have ever read – there was a man who knew all about attitude!
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Great guest post and I love the quote at the end about how we always have the choice about how we respond to the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes so hard to deal with but so very true.
Debbie
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Lisette, I can really identify with your post! In my last visit with Gynocologist we were discussing the fact that I thought I was about to loose my job (which I did) and she said “For you to loose your job may be the best thing that could happen to you.”
5 months later her words ring loud and clear as she was right. I didn’t rest during my cancer treatment, pushing and pushing until I was uterly exhausted. Because of that my 5 months have been taking care of myself and truly letting my body repair. Now I am ready to move forward.
Moral of the story…be kind to yourself and yes we cannot control the circumstances but we can control our response:)
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That was beautiful. Refocusing our attention on all the good can completely transform our experience. That doctor was incredibly wise.
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I absolutely love this. Thank you both, Lisette and Marie. On balance, I found that breast cancer gave me a lot more than it took away, and I’ve found so much to be grateful for. People are sometimes surprised when I tell them that. That’s not to say I didn’t cry my guts out a couple of times. But when I look back, all I see is kindness and humor and love.
I also got a smile out of how you miss having time to yourself, and being fussed over. I can vouch for that! I had to get over feeling guilty for resting and watching movies while recovering from my mastectomy, like I was supposed to be “doing” something.
Hope you don’t mind if I share one of my favorite quotes ever, from G.K. Chesterton. “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” I truly believe that.
And I really believe that if you try to chase happiness, it will outrun you every time. If you don’t worry about how much you have or how to get more, it will find you.
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I love your last few lines here Jackie – if you try to chase happiness, it will outrun you every time. How true!
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Thank you, Davida!
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I really like cellvamp brain booster that helps with my mental clarity, recall and focus without any side effects.
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